Thanksgiving and Other Misgivings....

Its been a while..... And since I didn't have internet most of last week due to stupid TVMax, here's a couple of blogs I combined....

November has been one hell of a month…. For a lot of reasons…. Most of them in the last 2 weeks. One big one tonight alone….

There’s all my money troubles from LAST month and my attempts to recover ever since…. That’s been a huge thing and still is…. I’m hoping next paycheck catches me up fully and the money from the mineral rights will give me a nice safety net in case anything like that happens again and I’ll also be able to pay mom back the money I owe her. Thank goodness.

Then there was the fact that one of my aunts died… I’m still not sure how I feel about that… I hadn’t spoken to her in years so I didn’t really have the closest relationship with her or her part of the family. So its kind of like she’s been dead to me for years…. Which may be why I don’t really feel like grieving her I guess? I’m not sure….

And there was also a huge, heavy conversation about my birth, I’m still not a 100% what my feelings about it are…. Mom and I went to Barnabys a few weeks back and somehow we got into the circumstances of my birth. She was a lot more bothered by them than I was. And she told me things I never knew as well….. She treated me as an adult, and while she has in the past, it just felt more….. adult. It was nice but being me, of course I tried to lighten the mood with humor, not always the best idea but my best defense against… anything.

Mom MAY have sold the townhouse… They were in negotians last I heard. While it wasn’t my home very long, it still feels very surreal…. (update - she DID sell it, for a bit less than she wanted to but it's pretty much a done deal!)

In boy news, I seem to have developed a thing for a guy with issues…. NOT issues like I used to like, like crazy guys, depressed guys, musicians, etc but a guy who is still hung up on his ex.
And I can’t kick this crush on him….. Ugh….

So today was Thanksgiving and we has our family lunch at Mom and John’s place. It ended up being me, Mom, John, Lauren, Lindsay, Grant, and Baby. Bobby was in San Antonio with his family so he couldn’t make it…. Though he had a place set at the table, that Mom hadn’t had time to take off. Lauren took a pic and sent it to with a message asking him where he was… It was cute. We had wine, mimosas, cheese, grapes, and crackers before lunch was ready. Typical family gathering…. :0) And we finally sat down to eat around noon. After we pigged out (we even had 2 pies, a first for us I think), we sat around the living room halfway asleep, and talked…. A lot it was about football and the UT/Aggie game tonight but we talked about childhood stuff too…. I heard something about when I was a kid that I didn’t remember but it sounds like something I would do. ( as a 6 year old I said I didn’t like Jewish people, the teacher was concerned – with a name like Fritz she was prolly thinking Adolf Hitler… lol Apparently I didn’t like Jewish people because they got a bunch of holidays off that I had to be in school and for a kid who didn’t like school it was highly unfair and I had decided I didn’t like Jewish kids because of it.) So I got home around 3 ish and took a nap. And since neither my internet or cable was working I only got updates on the UT/Aggie game via texts from Twitter, which I learned a lil bit ago that UT won by 10 points.

But the big thing I learned tonight was something I learned was from reading old journals I’d written on the computer…. I didn’t remember feeling that way about this guy…. Well some of it I remember but there are other bits I don’t remember at all…. And reading that made me think…. Maybe I was wrong about how I acted and reacted to the situation with him…. And that I can’t believe I let my friends (as much as I love them) influence me so fully…. I now have a lot of regrets about the whole thing. Go figure…. I based my final opinion on one night. It could have been a off night I don’t know… But after everything else that happened before that night I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions but I did and I have to live with that….

So yeah its been a very…. Interesting month. And its still not over yet!